So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Randomize
