Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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