Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
