I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
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