do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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