TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
