words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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