Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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