I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
