I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
