its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Randomize
