I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I just blew my weed a kiss
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
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