I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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