btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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