nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
