in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
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