he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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