I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
