Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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