Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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