By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
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