You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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