some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
