I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Randomize
