Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Randomize
