whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
