I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
