I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
