best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
