i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize
