Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
