I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
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