well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
