so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
operation harelip BJ is a go
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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