Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Randomize
