My hand turned me down
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Randomize
