Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Someone came in the potted fern
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
