So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
okay pat passed out under dana's car
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
