I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
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