you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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