her vagine was all disorganized.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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