Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I enjoy the company of your penis
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
