i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Oh god it's open bar.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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