I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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