You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
