im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Someone came in the potted fern
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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