He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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