I just pynch a tree in the face
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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