you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
