Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
