I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Randomize
