Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
