Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Just high enough for therapy.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
