The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I just gift wrapped bread.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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