Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
